I would not argue with the point that you make in your second paragraph. However, I propose that the two are not mutually exclusive. My point refers to what we have control over and how life develops seemingly of its own accord through the minutiae of myriad tiny decisions that we make every day.

If I understand properly, your point references those internal aspects of our personalities that drive those decisions. Both are critical, but I have spent a great deal of time working on my inner motivations, and just noticed that while I’m doing that, life keeps developing of its own accord.

For me, that is the value of the realization expressed in my post.

I would also argue that the choice of loyalty relates more to what we are that what we can choose.

I’d posit that perhaps decisions about what one does require fluidity and defy our will, but they are made in repsonse to the far more personally-dictated matter of what one is. We can choose loyalty, but not whether we will in fact join a friend for dinner next Tuesday. Loyalty simply dictates dinner on Thursday if Tuesday is no good and a friend is in need of dinner out.

We are guided by stars, not tides.