Listening to Obama’s acceptance speech last night, I couldn’t help but draw parallels between Lincoln (which he talked about), FDR, and him. I suppose to leave out Washington is historically inaccurate, but I don’t know enough to draw those conclusions. This is not to say that I have decided that Obama is a great president and that history is already decided – there are many issues that he must confront and his challenge is much more in the leadership and organization vein than any other. Will he be able to break the US reputation for only being capable of handling one major issue at a time? We shall see, but I digress…

The point I was headed for is based on the generational political cycles discussed in the book Millennial Makeover. In brief, there are four main types of generations in Anglo-Saxon culture (including the US), and these cycle through in order. The current generation – the Millennials, or Gen Y – are an example of a civic generation. Civic generations also fought the revolution, the civil war, and world war II. Thus, when Obama referenced Lincoln in his speech last night, and the commentators referenced FDR in 1932, the association rang particularly true through that perspective.

Yes we can

“Yes we can,” he said. This is the first presidential campaign slogan that I have heard in my life that seems to reach out and inspire people on a massive scale, a scale on par with the stories that we read about in history books growing up. I guess so much of this will be written by history, but Obama’s climb to power is an impressive feat in a short period of time, and one that does ride on hope for change.

So DC erupted last night. As I lay in bed at 2 or 3 in the morning, I was awakened repeatedly by honking, yelling, and probably gun fire (although I wouldn’t swear to it) above the dull, continuous roar of a crowd all along U street. I have seen so many quotes from black Americans that for the first time, they feel like real Americans – that they are no longer second class citizens. Jesse Jackson crying in the crowd in Chicago. I will not even pretend to understand the relief that seems to have come from Obama’s election in this regard, but it certainly seems to be cathartic on a cultural level for race relations in our country. That is not to say that we are all done with that part of our history, but as Obama said in his speech, this is the beginning of a change that will be significant for our country.

No fear

If you’re like me, you’re wondering how all of this babbling relates to the title of the post. I guess I would have to say that Obama’s hope for change has successfully moved the US in many ways from a culture of fear. So much of the racial difficulties derive from fear – historic fear and guilt bred from centuries of abuse and mistrust and violence. 9/11 and the politics of fear that ensued from that. Fear is crippling. It promotes decisions based not on reason, but rather on emotion. It creates a world run by reactive response, instead of proactive leadership. It is my belief that it is fear that has led the US to fall from our leadership position in the world. To be pursuing the elimination of danger instead of the creation of safety. To be so busy protecting our interests that there is no room to promote our ideals. If you’re going to lead you have to be in front. No one likes a backseat driver, but that is where we’ve been – all the while sitting in the driver’s seat!

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” said Roosevelt in his first inaugural address in 1933. He wasn’t talking about confronting enemies in a war. He was talking about the Great Depression. He was talking about confronting ourselves. Now, as then, there are enemies out in the world, but the way to defeating them is not through protectionism, it’s through engagement with the rest of the world and confronting our own issues.

Life is for the Living.

As I lay awake last night listening to the crowds celebrate and thinking about fear, I realized something: I have been operating my personal life out of fear. My work life is great, but I continue to struggle in the arenas of play and love. What do I want? What do I enjoy? Am I happy? What do I need in order to be happy? I couldn’t answer these questions. Why? Fear. Fear of losing a friendship. Fear of ending a relationship. Fear of insulting or hurting people around me – the people I love (family and friends), the people I know (acquaintances), the people I meet on the street, the people I just pass and never even speak with. This was not a debilitating fear, it was a very functional fear. Most people would not even recognize it as fear, but rather as a sort of niceness. And in fact, this fear has given me wonderful diplomatic skills. I can’t complain about that, given my current location and goals in life.

The difficulty is that I have been so concerned with avoiding danger (instead of creating safety), that all I have seen is danger. I have known that in fact I am surrounded by love and support (and yes – safety), but unable to really enjoy it, to take advantage of it, to relax, to revel in life and all that it has to offer.

I can’t say that the curse is fully broken, time will tell if that is true. But I’ve made a big step in this regard. And I’m really excited about it.

Several years ago, I was doing some therapy and my final realization was “Life is for the living.” I continue to understand that more and more as I grow up (I know I’m 37), but I think the important part for me today is to take advantage of every opportunity presented to you and don’t spend time worrying about the ones you miss. There are so many opportunities every day, it’s not possible to explore all of them.

And if you think this isn’t true, then your eyes are also shut like mine sometimes are.

Life IS for the living. So get out there! If you’re reading this, tell me what new thing you’re going to take up that you’ve always wanted to do in the comments below.

Wayne

You see, I’m working on something – the beginning of this nonprofit that I’m setting up. And the potential ramifications of it are, well, staggering.

Or maybe I just think that ’cause it’s my baby.

Ya’ know when you visit those places that famous people lived and worked, and you try to put yourself in their shoes — the house that Van Gogh painted in, or the streets where the framers of the Constitution walked, or the bar where the scientists that worked on the Manhattan Project drank at? Ya’ know that feeling? That desire to connect with the past, to connect with greatness? The way people pour over every letter that Einstein or Mark Twain wrote looking for clues about what they really believed and how they developed their unique view of the world?

At small points in my life, I’ve had that feeling but on the other side – you know the side like someday people will be pouring over everything saved on my hard drive looking for clues about who I REALLY was. Arrogance? Maybe. I’ve always kind of assumed that everyone has these sort of feelings. This sense that their uniqueness is going to significantly change the world one day. That their mark on society will be felt for generations to come…

Maybe.

And maybe my vision actually IS unique. I guess only time will tell.

Either way, I would like to encourage anyone reading this (and those that aren’t) to pursue and express your unique vision. To determine what it is that drives you and make it real. To create the world as you would like it to be by living the way that you think it should be. This is where real change originates.

Let me know what you’re doing in the comments.

You see, on April 14th around 8pm, I was sick of job hunting for the previous year, a little depressed, and going through my email, when I was suddenly struck with an idea – a concept – a new direction! The impetus? A call to action from UNA-USA to let my representative know how important it was to me that the US pay off their debts to the UN – $2 billion+ now!!! Crazy stuff. Well, I didn’t do it — but that’s a story for another time. The important part right now is that I gave up on job hunting – I’ve never been very good at it anyway (apparently), and am now starting my own organization. I still don’t quite have the name figured out, but the mission statement will go something like this:

“Based on the belief that the world’s people will take care of themselves if given the opportunity, the organization creates and maintains holistically-conceived tools that guarantee that opportunity.”

And of course, I have a first tool in mind, let’s call it Project One, but I really need to get it together a little more before I can disclose publicly what it’s going to be and how it will work. Needless to say, it’s really exciting! And my life is so much better now that I have something “important” to work on.

I’ve been having a terrible case of writer’s block, and even research block, to coin a term, and I think it’s due to the nature of the subject that I’m working on. As I referred to in a previous post, I feel like this project is moving a feeling that I’ve always carried, forwards towards fruition.

I don’t really know what that means. I mean, I understand the words, but how is this going to come about? How is this notion that I’ve carried, bolstered by knowledge and experience, actually going to get tied down to reality? How is it going to play out? How am I going to make a living while doing it? In the more immediate term, how am I going to write about it convincingly to make it understandable and consequently viable?

I have the research skills. I’ve done rather well in that department, if you judge by the responses from professors. I’ve built tools and knowledge and the abilities to find, gather, assimilate, and re-present data in a cohesive way.

I have the idea. I have the theory. I have the background understanding. I’m not just making it up as I go along. I can see it as reality in the future, but I can’t  quite make out how to get from here to there. But that’s the problem I’m working on, so that’s not really a surprise.

I have a great team that I’m working with. I mean, you can always FIND things to bitch about if you’re looking, but at the end of the day, we all get it, and we all want it to be right. Even more so, we all demand that it be right.

So what’s the problem, you may ask (for I am)? I think the problem is me. Not the totality of me, but certainly from within me. Perhaps fear is the right word. Fear of doing. Fear of being out there. Fear of having my innermost thoughts, ideas, and viewpoints scrutinized. It is certainly easier to criticize than to do, and if I never do, I don’t have to worry about being criticized.

Well, this must certainly be amongst the oldest and lamest reasons for stagnation in human history. Simultaneously, I would have said that it really doesn’t seem like me. I’ve never much concerned myself with what other people thought, quite the opposite in fact. Peer pressure always worked on me in the opposite fashion: “so this is what the cool kids are doing? that sucks!”

“I have my own view of the world and I’m going to live by it,” would more nearly sum up my life, or so I’d like to believe. That’s not to say I don’t take other’s viewpoints into account, it’s just that there aren’t that many areas of my life where I’m concerned about whether they will agree or disagree with me. I’m open to the debate, but not constrained by it. I try to live by the belief that, “part of what I’m doing is probably wrong, but that doesn’t differentiate me from anyone else, and when I realize what’s wrong about it, I’ll just change it.”

I guess I’ve found an area where I’m a little more sensitive. And why not? If I see this as my contribution to the world at large, I guess it’s acceptable that I’m a little concerned about how it will go over. After all, if it goes poorly, does that mean that my innermost views are wrong? That everything I’ve based my life around is a lie? To say it that way makes it sound ridiculous, but I guess fear is like that sometimes.

So if that’s what’s going on, the big question is: what am I going to do about it?

Well, this acknowledgement seems to have helped. I can see the legitimacy of my concerns, but at the same time, I do have a life to lead. I have a thesis to finish, I have ideas to convey, I have a livelihood to find, I have a contribution to make.

And time keeps passing me by…

I guess I better get back to work, trust in the legitimacy of the ideas, support and convey them properly, and take the next step towards being the change I want to see in the world. (Gandhi)

Ya’ know what? I just want to say that that’s not good enough. “Taking the next step” is part of the eternal procrastination that maintains the world as it is today. If I’m going to quote Gandhi, I should not be reducing the impact of his words. Therefore, I amend that final paragraph with the following sentiment:

I am the change I want to see in the world and I will take the next step towards disseminating that change.

It’s gonna be a good life!
Wayne

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It seems that the capstone project is about to fully take on a life of its own. This is an historic moment, whether or not we stop to realize it. Perhaps that history will only be pertinent to those of us directly involved, but the feeling, for me at least, is much greater. It is, in one regard, as though the project will run under its own power from this point forward; not unlike a boulder rolling down a hill. It has not yet built up much momentum, but that will come. Naturally, it will still need to be guided to ensure that it travels the right path, but it no longer requires continuous effort just to keep it moving.

On a more personal level, this moment feels like an important marker on the path towards turning a feeling into reality. The feeling has always been with me: a blurry, ill-defined need to make a positive contribution to things, to big things! Throughout my entire life, I have been accumulating skills and experiences that have enabled me to transform this feeling into a dream. In this moment, I feel as though the dream is becoming a vision. This capstone project is the lens through which the vision will become clearly defined.

It seems to me that the end result of this momentum must be the transformation of the original feeling into reality, a tangible result, something that directly impacts the real world, the way in which people relate to one another, their ability to pursue their own goals and accomplish them. It’s still too early to understand how this will play out, but it seems much more clear now that, in fact, it will.

It is critical to understand also that this feelng is not mine alone. It is the work of my entire generation, loosele defined. Perhaps it is also the work of the next generation, as well. It is a feeling that we all have, although some are more inclined to notice than others. It is a perspective, a viewpoint, a framework that many will contribute to, each in their own way. It is a method of relating, a new way to see the world and its people and their lives. It is the future. It is a solution. It is the fulfilled promise of humanity and the universe living as one. It is the promised land and the end of history.

Too grandiose? Too fantastical? Too idealistic? Perhaps, but it’s still only a dream and we just started the ball rolling.

Wow!!